Sasuke's 101 ways to annoy Sakura
by False Apology
Summary: Sakura was being attacked by Sakura, again! He locks himself in his house and begins creating 101 ways to annoy Sakura. Would he be enough of an idiot to go and actually do it though?


Sasuke ran into his house and locked all the doors and the windows and hid somewhere where no one can see him even if they peeked into his windows. Sakura was after him. Why oh why was Sakura _his _fangirl? Why couldn't she go for Chouji or Shikimaru or Lee!? He grabbed his book where he always wrote stuff whenever he was bored and got a pen then hid back into the spot he was in before. He began to think and then wrote down something. He wrote '101 way to annoy Sakura,' He began to list 101 ways.

Gross her out by picking your nose

Pull her hair every now and then

Hurt her when training

Yell in her ear

Call her 'Sakura-kun'

Tell her that she's going to have bushy brows like Lee soon when she marries him

Ask to be the page boy at her and Lee's wedding

Say he's going to spy on her and Lee on their honeymoon

Tell her how much he hates her wide forehead

Say he's with Ino

Flirt with Ino in front of her

Say he's going to get married with her

Say his kid is going to be named 'Sakura's a slut'

Call Sakura a slut

Tell her how much Lee loves her

Tell her that Naruto wants to go out with her

Tell her she should have two boyfriends; Lee and Naruto

Say that her kid should be named Ino

Tell her how much he loves Ino

Tell her how Ino doesn't have a wide forehead

Tell Sakura he's gay but will still go for Ino

Buy flowers and let her see if she likes them, then say they're for Ino

Say that her name shouldn't mean 'Cherry Blossoms' but should mean 'Stupid Idiots' instead

Say that he has a ring to propose to Ino

Hug Ino in front of her

Kiss Ino in front of her

Send her a poem saying how much he hates her

Rewrite 'Icha Icha Paradise' and name it 'Hate Hate Sakura'

Read 'Hate Hate Sakura' everyday to her

Give her a copy of 'Hate Hate Sakura'

Rewrite 'Icha Icha Paradise' again and name it 'Come Come Ino'

Read 'Come Come Ino' everyday after 'Hate Hate Sakura'

Give her a copy of 'Come Come Ino'

When she gets hurt, call the hospital for idiots

Dye your hair blonde and say you're an Ino fanboy

Write a SakuIno story

Read the SakuIno story to her everyday after 'Come Come Ino'

Give her a copy of the SakuIno story

Then write another story but SasuIno

Read the story to her everyday after the SakuIno story

Her ears will get tired eventually and they will hurt

Set her alarm clock to 1.a.m

Set her up on a blind date with Lee and/or Naruto

Yell 'Sakura's a bitch!' and run away when she tries to hurt you

Say that she's pregnant with Lee and/or Naruto

Tell everyone she's pregnant

Laugh whenever she yells at you for saying a rumour that wasn't true

Throw ramen in her face and say it was from Naruto

Piss her off as much as possible

Spray paint on her house 'Sakura Lee NarutoRetarted Love'

Get a pet and say tell her that it's what came out from her and Naruto/Lee

Take Sakura's house keys and give them to Naruto and Lee

Draw a picture of her and Naruto together

Then draw another picture of her and Lee together

Then draw yet another picture of her with bushy brows and black hair with round eyes and a green spandex

Then give her the drawings

Hang Sakura's undies on a pole

Tell everyone that the undies are hers

Put post-it notes on her back saying 'Kick me' and 'I'm in love with Lee and Naruto' and 'I'm a bitch'

Tell her that Lee and Naruto know where she lives

Give Lee and Naruto her address

Tell Lee to stalk her because it's youthful

Tell Naruto to stalk her then treat him to ramen

Put super glue on a chair then make her sit on it

Spill food on her clothes then say it was an accident

Make a voodoo doll of her and stick pins into it in front of her

Make a doll of yourself and Ino then show them to Sakura and say they're in deep love

Replace her blue leaf protector thingy with a red one

Tell her that Lee gave it to you as a present

Get Tsunade to give her a mission of babysitting a bunch of toddlers

Watch from outside and laugh

Ask her if she enjoyed taking care of the toddlers

Lock her in a room with Lee

Ask her if she liked being locked with Lee

Lock he in a room with Naruto

Ask her if she enjoyed Lee or Naruto the most

Lock her in a room with both of them

Yell at them from outside that the dog swallowed the key

Try to lose the key

Listen to Sakura yell in anger

Listen to Naruto and Lee cheering

Listen to Naruto and Lee fighting over Sakura

Break her alarm clock

Give her a new alarm clock that wakes her up every morning at 1 a.m everyday saying 'I love you!' in Naruto and Lee's voice

Write on the men's toilets 'girl's toilets'

When she walks into the real men's toilets, listen to her scream in embarrassment

When she's on a mission, decorate her room with photos of Naruto and Lee

When she comes back watch her freak out

Tell her it was all Naruto and Lee's fault

Give her a doll with Naruto and Lee's face stuck on it

Place a woopee cushion on a chair and tell Sakura to sit on it

When she sits on it, say 'P-U! Sakura! Did you blow that one?'

Watch her face go red and everyone laugh at her

Sign her up for a break dancing contest

Convince her she should go and at least give it a try

Watch her break bones

Tell everyone that she gave permission for everyone to cut her hair even more shorter

Watch her cry as everyone cuts her hair

Tell her she looks funny with short hair

Run away when she's chasing you with Zabuza's so-called-sword or what I like to call it, a butcher's knife!

Do it all over again

Sasuke put his pen down and laughed at his creative writing. "You know, Sakura might actually get off my back if I actually do all this to her!" Sasuke said to himself. He opened the door and began to do it. He never really got to do number 101, he ended up in hospital because of Sakura.


End file.
